Sunday, June 27, 2010

S & T - I

At 25 you have already made enough life altering decisions, thought Sakshi. But really, "enough"? The life which seems long and short at different instances is nevertheless a continuing affair. So the decisions which follow till the last one, where you are wondering whether or not to the change your will are all equally life altering, she rethought. So exactly when is one OLD enough to decide for himself, herself; she had known, of course these standards will vary for both sexes.

She had been hearing of the honour killings for sometime now. At first in her Social Behaviour classes at the college and she was overwhelmed at the irrationality of the honour saving behaviour which those related by blood could resort to, only till the recent deaths in her conscious present made them utter reality for her. Her mother had been slyly hinting about the possibilities of honour killing in the most educated of families. What did she mean, did she mean us or them? Weren't both the families aptly educated? and adequately HUMAN not to honour-kill. Sakshi was discontent, about the various discouraging factors which one had to accost in a life where one opted for "love marriage". Such beginnings and what possible end. She laughed in her mind. Then laughed again at the possibility of marriage itself.

Things in white and black are good. But at times gray is not the sophisticated choice. Its merely remains a colour people are bound to pick. Sakshi was funnily, for her friends, still single on all the social networking sites, where mentally she could have been married for 4 years now, vouched a close friend from work. Although Tarun would have been petrified of the thought of mental marriage, she knew that he too agreed of the non-substitutibility of Sakshi in his life, which of course was a tiny green pasture in Sakshi's love life, life being an encompassing term. Two years in B School. 5 Before that in law School. They were good and glued. All through Sakshi maintained at home, it was yet another friendship turned closer friendship. But now opinions swelled to part ways: either think of her as a rebel who is going the honour killing way or she is just a little too characterless to be hanging out with random men, not even intending to get married. it was about time she let them make an opinion, black or white, with white signifying no purity at all.

So, Sakshi wondered, which way is the safe way- to be the rebel, open the reality to the acid rain of taunts, drop the camouflage of friendship, howsoever close and face it- "it" to include things ranging from prima facie rejection at Tarun's hands to assaults of potential honour killing OR assure them that hell, she is so not going to marry everyone she dates, a Tamilian Anna at that, naah and therefore be looked down upon as the 'slut'.

She prayed her forefathers to cast some knowledge about her highly coveted class/caste about what was more dignified to be, not to be.